My previous husband worked in the oilfield and spent his all his free time playing drums in a rock n' roll band. He was a charmer, but told me early on that music would always be number one in his life, marijuana would be number two, and I would be number three. He laughed when he said it, but he wasn't joking. Naïve and over-confident, I laughed too, thinking that in no time at all I'd move up the ranks in his heart. Although he claimed to love me, in thirteen years of marriage I never came first... or even second. In observing his failed relationships since then, I note that his priorities still haven't changed.
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...he's an idiot...you are fortunate and wise that he's a previous...
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on both counts! :-) Sadly, some people never grow up or make an effort to learn from their mistakes.
DeleteHow wonderful it is to now be in a relationship where the priorities are straight, and people are valued far more than things.
ReplyDeleteThere is not a day I don't thank God for the wonderful devoted husband I have now. We cherish each other, as it should be.
DeleteSome people never learn to put people first, and they suffer for it.
ReplyDeleteAnd how did i not figure out you had another blog?
DeleteHe and I have had so many discussions about that over the years, Mimi, even after we parted ways. He starts out relationships with interest, but always falls back into the old self-focused patterns. I am honestly sad for him because he will never have a long-term healthy relationship if he doesn't have the will to change.
DeleteI could not find an email for you to inform you about the second blog, so I was hoping you would follow the link back from your blog and notice the similarities. ;-)
DeleteOh boy--sad and familiar tale. Well done--both the writing, and moving on.
ReplyDeleteOften when we are younger we settle for more than we should. Then one day we realize that we have sold ourselves short, and if it can't (or won't) be fixed, it's time to move on.
Deleteperspective (if and when we acquire it in our passage through life) is so remarkably powerful. It changes everything without really changing the past.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Clark. We learn to see both ourselves and others as we were, with some degree of detachment, more like a character study. It doesn't bother me now. It was what it was, and I have moved on.
DeleteBut think how much you appreciate what you have now! And isn't it wonderful to rank first? Nice six.
ReplyDeleteExactly, Deborah, when you've had it bad, you really appreciate good. My husband is my knight in shining armor! He always treats my like I am valuable, and I treat him the same.
DeleteI'm smiling for you. Fortunately I only went through two months of this...it was bad enough
ReplyDeleteJoy is coming from darkness to light and realizing how good love can be. I never believed it was possible until I met the husband I have now. You will meet yours too, because you know what you want now... and what you don't want. Sometimes that's the most important part!
Delete\0/ J! Lessons learned and shared.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Patricia! We all have to learn our own lessons, but sometimes hearing about someone else's serves as a warning, things to be wary of in our own lives. Relationships should always take priority.
Deletehiya J--- i found my way. nice place ya got here. see ya round blog-town.
ReplyDeleteHi Soul! So glad you've stopped by. Will be watching for some new posts at your place too. <3
DeleteI'm so glad you are in a better place in your life now and that you are happy.
ReplyDeleteI am too, Pat. In my life God definitely saved the very best for last!
DeleteDefinitely HIS loss my friend!! And my high school boyfriend was the exact same... and oh how I fell for that boy at first. But in the end, I wisely left knowing he'd never change. He also had the bad habit of getting in fights that left he bloodied every weekend, so it actually wasn't a hard decision.
ReplyDeleteBad boys, no matter how charming they can be, seldom make for good life partners. This one also had a quick temper that put us in harm's way at times. I don't miss that either! In fact it was his lack of self-control that gave the final push to my leaving.
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