Ten Things of Thankful - Week 4, 2017

Image Source

Sunlight streams through my window this morning and before long it will warm to 50 degrees outside, a brilliant contrast to yesterday's gray skies and snow flurries in the afternoon. Life is like that, isn't it... a mixture of  happy times and hard times; and no matter what we are going through, the sunlight will return.  I've been posting a daily gratitude post on my other blog, and here's an additional ten blessings from this week in my relatively humdrum life... 

1.  I am thankful for the example set by some of our blog/TToT friends who have been experiencing some extremely challenging situations, and yet continue to share with us, find humor in life, and remind us that if they can keep going and moving forward, so can we.  The sense of community, standing stronger together, is one of the things I've always loved about blogging.

2.  I'm thankful for Lizzi sharing her wonderful work adventure in Kenya with us this week via her Facebook posts.  The photographs and narrative have been a strong reality check for all of us, and  I loved that she tuned in to the resilience of the people there.  I just know her sparkly goodness generated hundreds of smiles, and the work she was involved in is making a difference!

3.  I am thankful for my son's wonderful girlfriend, and how much joy and contentment she's added to his life.  One of a parent's biggest fears is who their children will choose as a partner, and he's taken his time to find just the right match.  It's her birthday today, and she was so appreciative of the small gift we sent.  She's an Aquarian like myself... I've never met one I didn't like!

4. I am thankful for the close relationship I share with my daughter.  There was a time long ago when she was a teenager that I wasn't sure if I would kill her or she would kill me!  We have grown so close as she's gotten older, and in many ways she is frighteningly like me (poor kid).  I am the first one she calls if something good, or something bad, happens in her life; we talk or text almost daily.  I didn't have that kind of relationship with my mother, so I am extremely grateful that I do with my daughter. I am glad she knows that I am here for her and will always support her, along with her right to make her own decisions and learn from her own mistakes just like we all did!

5.  I am thankful for all the handyman skills my husband possesses.  He has saved us thousands of dollars over the eight years we've been together by being able to trouble shoot and repair things without the need to call for high dollar repairmen.  He's also used those skills to help out friends and neighbors.  I find myself wondering if today's children, boys and girls, are being taught how to maintain and repair things; I suppose they will likely just look it up on YouTube. :-)

6.  I am thankful for our colds finally being completely gone.  Such a small problem, such a big nuisance! Now I feel like getting active and taking care of some of the projects on my to-do list!

7.  I am thankful that  the political hate and anger posts fading out on Facebook.  As much as we have valid reasons to be upset and concerned, hate that degrades and separates never resolves anything.  If we stoop to the name-calling level of those we detest, how much better are we than them?  If you believe strongly about something, find positive ways to take action and effect change!

8.  I am thankful that I am having some success in learning to de-escalate personal anxiety issues in situations over which I have no control.  Fear is a crippling thing, my mind knows this, but sometimes I still let it take control of me.  I am learning to use faith to combat fear, to breathe my way through it, and it focus on what I can do at the moment, rather than being consumed by fear over situations which nine times out of ten prove to be exaggerated or non-existent.

9.  I am thankful beyond words for the safe return of a little special needs puppy in Missouri that slipped out the door and got lost one evening this week.  It turns out that she wandered to a nearby neighbor who took her in for the night and found her family the next day.  This is the fourth time in recent years, that I have spent much of a night in tears and prayers, along with others, on behalf of one of God's furkids, praying for their safe return home, and it has happened.  I know that it doesn't always work out that way, but each animal/family reunited is testimony to answered prayers, and a reason to rejoice!

10.  I am thankful for my own four furkids that remind me daily that the most basic need we all share is to be loved and cared for.  I think it is a rather sad thing that human beings can't purr when we are content, but we have an even greater way to communicate our appreciation... and that is to say thank you.  I thank each one of you who takes the time to stop by my blogs and leave comments and encouraging words, it means more to me than you will ever know.

 

 =================================

Ten Things of Thankful is the brainchild of Lizzi at Considerings.  It's been  up and running for a long time now, and it's a wonderful way to refocus on the good things that happen in our lives each week despite whatever problems we are facing.  There is always something to be thankful for... always!

 This week we are linking our posts up at the TToT Group

on Facebook, and at Clark's blog TheWakefield Doctrine

Never Forget

This is a repost from my other blog, originally published in February, 2011. 

Today is International Holocaust Remembrance Day. The message bears repeating...
====================================

My mid-twenties found me married to my first husband, mother to a three-year old, and living in an apartment in small town in the state of Bavaria in what was then known as West Germany.  My husband was stationed at the U.S. Army post there, and it was home to us for two and a half years. Being of German ancestry, it was a lesson in the country and culture of three of my great-grandparents, and an experience to remember for a lifetime.

 

While there, we made many day trips and weekend visits to the cities and towns within driving distance or train trip. One such journey stands out in my memory above all others, it was a visit to one of those places you don't want to see, but somehow you sense you must... to be a witness to what occurred there.

I am talking about Dachau... infamous concentration camp where so many lost their lives during the Holocaust. We took the train, arriving at the small station where a taxi was secured to deliver us to the gates of the camp now maintained as a memorial. Walking through the museum, we were joined by other tourists and groups of German school students who had been brought there as a lesson in their country's history. It was obvious that some of them were being made aware of this atrocity for the first time.

 The picture you see above is of the front entrance gate to Dachau. This is where freight trains crammed full of human beings deemed unworthy to remain in free society by Hitler's "Thousand Year Reich" stopped along the tracks to be unloaded and interred. "Arbeit Macht Frei" says the gate... literally translated "Work Makes Free". Not free for the great majority of those interned there for whom death was the only freedom granted.

 

Death came quickly for some... the old, the young, the infirm... sorted like cattle and directed to the gas chambers. For others it happened a bit more slowly... sickness, starvation, exposure to harsh winter weather clothed only in rags, inhumane work conditions, torture, cruel medical experimentation, and the abuse of sadistic guards took their toll. Not just Jews, but also sympathizers, Gypsies, homosexuals, and the mentally handicapped, along with religious leaders, and educators who dared to speak out against the regime.

How to dispose of all those bodies piling up? The answer came much too easy... row of ovens in the crematorium burned non-stop round the clock hurtling ashes skyward. "We didn't know what was happening there, please don't blame us" said a disclaimer printed on the menu in the guesthouse where we ate lunch in the nearby town of Dachau. A picture of the ovens is posted below.

 

We walked through reconstructed barracks in which human beings had been stacked like sardines, we stood inside the gas chamber and looked at pictures of corpses piled high in the adjoining room. One would say it is impossible, but I swear the stench of death still permeates the walls there. We stood in silence in the crematorium. What could one say in the face of such atrocity, such horror? How could one even begin to comprehend the madness that led to this?

Everything is nicely sanitized now, grounds clean and manicured, buildings spotlessly clean as are most public places in Germany. If you knew nothing of what had occurred there it might not seem so evil, it might not make you feel quite as sickened. But I do know. We all know. History forgotten is destined to repeat itself.  Never forget... never again.

 

When Someone Has Been Given Much

 

I'm joining Zoe at "Uncharted" for Six Sentence Stories where our cue this week is "given"...

My husband and I have spent a good deal of time this week helping a disabled senior in our community whose own family seems blind to even his most basic needs like food and running water, and we will be doing so again next week, and as long as we are able and our help is needed.

It's not that we have a lot of extra money for the giving these days with me not working,  we barely cover our expenses; and yet we always manage to find enough to pay for our gas to transport him to doctor appointments, materials to help repair his broken water line, propane refills for his water heater, and food for him and his dogs.

He fusses because he cannot repay us, and I tell him that friends take care of friends and he would do the same, and I know he would if he was able. It is a joy to see how much he appreciates the smallest things... a warm dinner, or my husband taking his empty propane tanks to get them filled.

I don't understand why his own children with substantial incomes leave him hungry and cold, and even borrow money from him with no thought of repayment, fully aware of how small his disability check is, while promising to help him out later... but they never do; I know it hurts his heart.

We give him our time, our energy, our food and supplies, and our love, because we can... because we want to... and because we should - because God has given so much to us and He provides enough for us to share; and the truth is that we are more even more blessed in giving than he is in receiving.

"When someone has been given much, much will be required in return" -  Luke 12:48

=====================

 

Visit Six Sentence Stories for some great reading,
and add a story of your own.

Ten Things of Thankful - Week 3, 2017

Here we are at the end of another week, time to get my thankful on...

1.  I'm starting off my gratitude list today with one of my favorites... my husband is off  work today! He gets just one Saturday off each month, usually the one of his choosing if it's available, and works six days the other three weeks.  When he has a Saturday off it means we get to do things together, and a house project or two, and he still has Sunday to rest up for the coming week. I like having him home with me!

2.  I am thankful that my older sister had a happy 65th birthday this week.  Last year she fell on her icy steps just a few days before her birthday and spent the next four months at home recovering from surgery for a shattered femur and knee.  She is back at her part-time job now (which her boss was nice enough to hold for her), moved into a one-level town house, and enjoying senior life with her friends.  That was plenty to celebrate!

3. I am thankful for my sense of smell and taste, both of which have been absent for the past two weeks with this cold but are slowly returning.  I am tired of everything tasting like cardboard! It's weird to chop onions and not even smell them!  It's weird how interconnected smell and taste are too. The problem is obviously "all in my head", but where?? :-) My mother told me that my maternal grandmother did not have a sense of smell.  I don't know if she was born that way or it happened later on in her life due to illness or something else.  I wonder if she had a sense of taste. I can't imagine cooking for a family without it, especially at a time when cooking was done more by taste than by measurements and recipes.

4.  I am thankful that my niece was recognized in their city newspaper for her work as a foster mom for pups at the rescue group she supports.  In addition to her own four much-loved dogs, she has fostered many others over the years, mostly pitbulls, and it's always a celebration when one of her fosters gets adopted and goes to its forever home.  She says how hard it is to let them go after loving them so much, but then she will have room to help another.  I am also thankful that her awesome boyfriend loves dogs as much as she does and is 100% supportive of her foster furkids!

5.  I am so very thankful that the election and inauguration are now over.  I am so sick of my Facebook filled with contesting viewpoints and comments that intelligent people on all sides should know better than making.  I am hoping and praying that we can work together to unify our country. We have to be the change we wish to see... role models of what we believe is right.

6.  I am thankful for all the beautiful colors in God's paintbox... from brilliant flowers to blazing skies, to the soothing shades of  ocean waves... more colors and combinations than we could ever name.  I love bright, jewel-tone colors like deep purple and bright yellow like daffodils best!  When I see something with beautiful color it lights up my soul!

7.  I am thankful that folks have been so kind about my ongoing Six Sentence serial story at the other place.  It's my first attempt at writing any fiction longer than a short story, and while I really am making it up as I go, I'm having fun as I envision future "chapters" that fall within the realm of possibility at an old house.  As I write it I am revisiting a farmhouse I loved in my youth. In my mind it is the setting for this story.

8.  I am thankful for chocolate in all it's wonderful forms and uses.  Even one piece of chocolate is guaranteed to make me smile.  Papa Bear knows this. :-)

9.  I am thankful for caring friends who visit back and forth with me via Internet and text.  Since I am home alone most days, it's nice to have company to share with, play WWF with, and exchange photos that make us laugh.

10.  I am thankful for the serenity of our home, for the love and the laughter, and the way my husband is always there to easy my anxieties and keep me grounded.  I have lived in houses that were chaotic and unhappy, and at times scary.  Because of that I treasure my peaceful home now.

Ten Things of Thankful is the brainchild of Lizzi at Considerings.  It's been  up and running for a long time now, and it's a wonderful way to refocus on the good things that happen in our lives each week despite whatever problems we are facing.  There is always something to be thankful for... always!

 This week we are linking our posts up at the TToT Group

on Facebook, and at Clark's blog TheWakefield Doctrine

How It Turned Out

~Image Credit~

I'm joining Zoe at "Uncharted" for Six Sentence Stories where our cue this week is "turn"...

How It Turned Out

My life hasn't turned out as I expected; certainly not the way I planned

In youth I dreamed of adventure, and career plans that seemed very grand

 

But life took me other directions, and I let people lead me astray

Struggles replaced grand adventures; lessons were learned on the way

 

Maybe I could have done better if I'd stuck to the plan in my head

But then I wouldn't be who I am now, so I'm glad it went this way instead

 

=====================

 

Visit Six Sentence Stories for some great reading,
and add a story of your own.

Tuesday Coffee Chat - January 17, 2017

Today I'm linking up with Tuesday Coffee Chat at Ink Interrupted where Rory Bore asks us "What is one positive thing about 2017, and one negative thing about the forthcoming year?"

 

I've often found that venting a bit about the things you aren't happy with, clears your mind and makes space for more positive thoughts to surface, so first let me share something about this year that I'm not happy with...

I am not feeling one bit positive about the costs of medical care and health insurance in  our country, and this isn't even taking the new administration into consideration.  My husband has private health insurance because the business he works for is too small to carry group insurance at a price they can afford.  Because of his age his monthly insurance premium is high, much higher than it is for someone in their thirties, putting a strain on our budget. Near the end of last year we were notified that his monthly insurance premium will increase by $196 beginning in February.  Needless to say, we can't afford that and there are no easy options that will meet the legal requirements.

I have been uninsured since my job ended, because the cost of COBRA insurance was exorbitant and although unemployed I do not qualify for an Affordable Care Act discount due to my husband's income.  There will likely be an income tax penalty assessed or my not having insurance the last four months of 2016. It is also highly likely that neither one of us will have health insurance in the months ahead because it's not financially possible.  I am concerned about the medical risks of doing this, and I am angry that our government never implements plans that truly helps the working class.  I am sick to death of funding for those who can work but do not, while we have both worked years and years and must do without. 

Okay, now I have that little rant off my chest, let's move on to what I see as positive for the coming year...

Probably what I most look forward to most are the anticipated changes in the lives of both my son and my daughter as they take the relationships they're in to the next level.  There is nothing that makes a mother happier, nor her heart more at peace, than to know her grown children aren't alone in the world, that they have someone who loves them and takes care of them, someone who brings joy and meaning to their life. 

My son has become involved with a wonderful woman who has a young son, and they intend to combine their households in the second half of this year.  For the present time they do a lot of cross-city commuting on the weekends.

My daughter has been in a relationship for about five years now and engaged for the last two.  They've finally decided to go ahead and tie-the-knot, tentatively in March, then she will sell her home and join him in Texas, tentatively in May. 

We all know that life and plans change everyday, so I will watch and wait and hope that all of this works out in a way that will bless their lives.  I am happy with the life partners they've both chosen, I think they are well suited to each other.  I'll keep you posted when/if events actually unfold.  And from that point it's up to them to make it work! :-)
 

Ten Things of Thankful - Week 2, 2017

~Image Source~
 

It's high time to get my weekly list of thankfuls done before the weekend expires...

1.  I've had a miserable cold all week long, and this leaves me so very thankful that I can stay at home to recover.  When working in the past, if you took more than a day off when you were sick, it would result in eye rolls from supervisors and grumbling from coworkers. So everybody comes to work still sick, sharing their germs with everyone else, and struggling to get through the day.  Staying home is a big, BIG blessing in my life in so many different ways.

2.  I'm thankful that the oilfield economy where we live is finally on the upswing again. This is job security for Papa Bear.  He's been at his job for 35 years now, and business has been pretty grim there the past year. Boom/bust is the nature of the oilfield.  Someday we hope to live in a more stable place, one with lots of trees would be nice. :-)

3.  I'm thankful for the happy news from my daughter that she and her fiancé will probably get married in March, and then head to Hawaii for a honeymoon.  They've been engaged for over two years now, and she's been in the process of getting her house ready to sell.  Looks like it just might all come together for them this year.

4.  I'm thankful for a good phone visit with my younger sister this week.  We don't talk on the phone often, I am not a phone person, but we had a lot of catching up to do and she had some concerns she wanted to talk to me about. Our relationship is much improved over what it was in years past.

5.  I'm thankful that my son was able to change his work schedule this year. He is an air traffic controller and was working five nights a week, giving him very little time with his girlfriend. This year he'll be working three day shifts and two night shifts, which is perfect.  It also gives me a chance to connect with him after work.  My kids are both night owls by nature, my daughter works night-shift as a nurse.

6.  It has rained all day today, and some last night too.  In West Texas we are always thankful for rain, thought it might be nice if it didn't come all at once.  It's been a dry winter so far, and the rain will be needed to help things grow in Spring, so the rabbits can thrive, and the coyotes too. It was nice to see both looking well-fed and plentiful last summer.

7. I am thankful for the awesome comfort of the very casual clothing  I wear when I'm at home, unless I need to run errands in town.  No one ever drops by out here so I don't need to worry about greeting someone at the door in my pajamas. Office wear, even casual, is much more restrictive, and I am all about comfort.  The clothing I have now will last me quite awhile.

8. In connection to #7, I am thankful that my dry-cleaning bill has dropped to zero, as has money for eating lunch in town. We've done really good at paring down expenses in the past five months. It helps that we are both on the same page when it comes to wants and needs.  In reality we don't need all that much.

9.  I am thankful for being inspired by the other great bloggers that I follow, including some old ones returning and some new ones I've discovered recently.  I am feeling more inspired to write than I have for some time.  Having two blogs is also working out well for me, even though it might seem a little strange to others, the purpose for each one is clear in my mind.

10. I am thankful for the understanding of life that comes with experience, for learning to see old things in new ways, and for believing that love and unity are stronger than hate and division.

Ten Things of Thankful is the brainchild of Lizzi at Considerings.  It's been running each weekend for a long time now, and is a wonderful way to refocus on the good things that happen in our lives, despite whatever problems we are facing.  There is always something to be thankful for... always!

 This week we are linking our posts at the TToT group on Facebook.

 

Outranked

I'm joining Zoe at "Uncharted" for Six Sentence Stories where our cue this week is "rank"...

My previous husband worked in the oilfield and spent his all his free time playing drums in a rock n' roll band.  He was a charmer, but told me early on that music would always be number one in his life, marijuana would be number two, and I would be number three.  He laughed when he said it, but he wasn't joking.  Naïve and over-confident, I laughed too, thinking that in no time at all I'd move up the ranks in his heart.  Although he claimed to love me, in thirteen years of marriage I never came first... or even second.  In observing his failed relationships since then, I note that his priorities still haven't changed.

 

Visit Six Sentence Stories for some great reading,
and add a story of your own.

Tuesday Coffee Chat - Jan. 10, 2017

Today I'm linking up with Tuesday Coffee Chat at Ink Interrupted where Rory Bore asks us

"What was your biggest lesson learned in 2016?"

 

Wow, that's a hard one.  I learned a bunch of lessons last year, the way I learn most lessons... the hard way.  Sometimes it seems the ones you learn painfully stick with you better than the ones that come easily. Most often I have to repeat mistakes a dozen few times to actually get the message, but this past year brought some important messages home.

 

If I had to choose just one as the biggest lesson, I think it would be to trust fewer people and choose my friends and confidantes more wisely, which seems rather humorous since I've just started this blog as a place to share more of my personal thoughts and life with... pretty much anyone who cares to read them! 

 

But what I'm talking about is trusting people to be what they seem to be on the surface, and responding to that façade perception as the case may be.  At times the past year really caused me to question my ability to discern people who were friends from those who were covertly foes.  At the end of the year I realized how much time and energy I had spent on people who truly didn't like me.  Sometimes the undermining of my trust was intentional on their part, and sometimes maybe more of a subconscious thing, but I can say now that I definitely will be more careful of the people I expend my energy on, and use it for the ones that uplift and encourage me, and not ones who are "vexations to the spirit." 

 

That doesn't mean people I trust and consider to be friends have to think, believe, or act just the same as I do, it means we have to share similar values in the way we approach life and treat other people.  Kindness and honesty are BIG to me, so is mutual encouragement. If someone turns on me once I might forgive them and try again, because we all act out of character once in awhile, but if it happens again it's a sure bet that trust will go out the window... of a very tall building. :-)

 

Along with this lesson, there were other important lessons I learned last year too... things like... the lemming instinct is alive and well (hence our political farce),  be prepared to deal with what you ask for (because you just might get it), encourage people to make choices for their own lives based on their experiences (rather than telling them what you think they should do), take life one day at a time (exercise faith and don't panic about tomorrow), and my favorite... begin again (always begin again)!

 

 Join us and share what 2016 taught you!

Ten Things of Thankful - Week 1, 2017

~Image Credit~

Well, I haven't done one of these for awhile, and not faithfully for a long time.  This year I'm doing a daily thankful post at my other blog, but there are things I just don't want to talk about over there, not all who visit are my friends.  So I've decided to jumpstart this year by kicking my TTOT rear back into gear.  Here goes (bear with my lack of fancy intros and flowing phrases, anyone who knows me, knows that's not how I roll)...

1.  I am thankful for all friends and family that survived the last year and the struggles it presented to many.  I celebrate surviving, it used to be my mantra and still is, but I've also come to realize that there has to be more to life than just surviving, there has to be meaning and purpose, and even occasional joy (thought it can be joy over little things, doesn't have to mean a whoopee celebration).

2.  That Papa Bear and I survived the past year, both financially and emotionally. The loss of my job at the end of July was a major life changer/game changer.  We have managed to make ends meet (just barely) for the past months, and my stress levels, blood pressure, and gut issues have returned to the normal range.  Being home after working for so many years is such an incredible blessing!  There are no words.  Even if it doesn't last, I will cherish this time I've had to recover myself.

3.  I am thankful that both of my kids had someone to share Christmas with this year, and both enjoyed their holiday.  Being alone at Christmas is often sad and lonely, I've done it in the past. I have hopes that both will continue in the relationships of present, I am content with their choices. There will likely be a move to Dallas for my daughter sometime this year, maybe, we shall see. I would love having her closer.  I don't get to see my kids nearly often enough.

4. I am thankful that Papa Bear and I are so well matched when it comes to living together. We watch shows on tv where couples continually disagree with each other, have strongly opposing ideas about life, or want such very different things.  It reminds me of how my life used to be in the past chapters. You don't have to be cosmic twins to have a good marriage, but you have to agree on the fundamentals or be able to compromise in a way that both feel okay about it.

5. I am thankful that I've been able to work through my remaining resentments with a few individuals from my past, especially one particularly evil ex, and let it go. I can acknowledge that they acted out of their own levels of pain and unresolved issues, and while I don't excuse what transpired, it no longer has emotional weight to me.  It just was, and it is no more, I am free of it, very free. 

6.  I am thankful that being home has provided me the time and energy to cook good suppers for Papa Bear, he loves it.  Now I need to convince him that we need to focus on healthier fare, because he's gained weight, and we both already weigh too much. Eating at home saves lots of money too.

7.  I am thankful and excited to have reconnected with some dear blogging friends from the past this week, and also for becoming better acquainted with some I've known only marginally.  I love bloggers and blogging, and keeping up with what's going on in each other's lives!

8.  I am thankful for my furkids and their amazing individual personalities.  In the past two weeks Sophie (the elder feline and reigning queen) has finally decided it is okay (just barely tolerable, but it's a start), for Tiggy or Gracie to nap next to her on the blanket on the sofa.  They've been trying to do this since they were babies born here nearly four years ago and she would swat at them or stomp off in a fuzzed-up huff.  Maybe the cooler weather was good for something, or maybe like me, she is mellowing a bit in her old age (she's thirteen now).  It is so sweet to see them cuddled up together.

9.  I am thankful that I am getting along with both my younger and older sister, staying in communication, and learning to maintain the balance of sharing and privacy/closeness and detachment that is necessary to keep those relationships working.  We've struggled for many years and I've banished one or the other, or both from my life for extended periods in the past.  But life is short and I know that resentments are displeasing to God.  So I've worked on it, and I set boundaries I can live with.  Family is family, for better or worse.  One critical rule... I refuse to discuss one sister with the other.  (Being the middle child has too often put me in the no-win role of peacemaker.)

10.  (Wow, I'm at ten already?!  I remember now how easy this is once I convince myself to begin.)  I am thankful that the holiday gloom that often rides just below the surface in my life has passed, the anniversaries of my father's death on 12/30/2009 and my mom's on 1/09/1995 - and the bitter cold winter funerals in Dakota that followed - will soon be past, and I can move ahead into the new year ready to once again to take up the battle with de-cluttering our very cluttered house and storages. This is the year of learning to live minimally, and to have our surroundings reflect that. I can do it!

Ten Things of Thankful is the brainchild of Lizzi at Considerings.  It's been running each weekend for a long time now, and is a wonderful way to refocus on the good things that happen in our lives, despite whatever problems we are facing.  There is always something to be thankful for... always!

 This Week's TToT

A Cheesy Poem

 

 I'm joining Zoe at "Uncharted" for Six Sentence Stories where our cue this week is "cheesy"...

 

The stories I write are quite cheesy; yes, almost as bad as this rhyme

I won't earn my fortune in writing, but still it's my favorite pastime

I never will run out of stories, or things that I'm wanting to say

I'm pretty sure I could just sit here and write fourteen hours a day

Alas, there is housework and laundry; the furkids are wanting to play

I'll cease stringing words for the moment, but return before end of the day

 

 

Visit Six Sentence Stories for some great reading,
and add a story of your own.

Being Heard

~Image Credit~

 

In a comment on yesterday's post, my friend Brenda wrote "I don't really like to share my thoughts as often when I do I am challenged or questioned."  That definitely struck a cord with me.  I have often found myself misunderstood or worse yet, totally ignored.  At times I feel like I must either do a poor job of communicating my thoughts, or they are just that far out in left field.  Being an Aquarian, I suppose the latter is a possibility. :-)

I learned not to share my thoughts, the personal ones, when I was growing up.  It seemed that whenever I would try to share something with my parents they would either get angry, make fun of me, or ignore me altogether.  The understanding and encouragement I was looking for wasn't there.  So I learned to keep my thoughts to myself.  That didn't work well either, for example... one morning I came down to breakfast following a blowup with my father the night before and sat there quietly eating.  My father said "Well I see you got that out of your system."  He had no idea how wrong he was, but I knew enough to let him think that rather than share the internal rage I was feeling at the moment.

As an adult I still experience being totally misunderstood. Often I think someone is on the same page as me, and reads my comments and behavior in the manner they were intended. Then at some later point they will make it clear that they have no idea what I meant or what I am about!  It leaves me not only hurt but totally bewildered, wondering how I could be so misunderstood.

It was my great joy to discover that I could actually meet people via the Internet who DID think along the same lines as me, and who, if they didn't, were capable of  respecting my thoughts and being supportive and kind.  At last I realized I had a tribe, it just didn't exist where I was growing up. 

Recently I had a friend, or so I thought, that found it necessary to disagree with or challenge nearly everything I said, or to point out how superior her way of thinking and acting was.  She didn't treat everyone this way, just me, as if I was the target for something.  I tried to discuss it more than once, to tell her how it felt and to request that she try to be more supportive, but she chose not to change her behavior, so I chose to not be her friend anymore.  Real friends encourage us. You can be honest without being critical, you can always be caring and kind.

I share my thoughts more carefully now days, the backlash from being challenged and misunderstood is too painful.  I try to walk on the path gently and say things that are positive rather than negative, I try not to argue or debate as much as I once did. I try to understand other points of view and to realize that not everyone is at the same place in life I am.  We all need someone who just listens, without judgment, and who cares about what is important to us. We all need encouragement.

When someone shares there thoughts, I am making a greater effort to avoid formulating a response in my mind while I am reading their words or they are speaking, but rather to first just listen to what it is they are trying to say, and to then try to understand where they are coming from and why.  When I do that I can respond from a more compassionate and supportive place, and hopefully be a better friend.

The exchange of thoughts and ideas is fun, I can talk or hours with someone who wants to talk about ideas (rather than about things, like new shoes), it gets my brain firing on all cylinders and I start talking really fast because I am energized.  We learn by listening to what others have to say and comparing their ideas and beliefs to our own.  We learn by asking questions to make sure we do understand.  I encourage you to feel free to share your thoughts here.  Even if I think you are out in left field, I promise to consider what you have to say and respond in kindness. :-)
   

Distracted

I find that I live mostly in my mind

Always observing, plotting and planning

A million thoughts of what I should do or could do

But little action due to frequent distraction

 

Telling My Story

We have turned the calendar page to a new year, and I am back to share more of my life story.  January 1st is such an arbitrary date for new beginning,  I've always thought the Winter Solstice would make more sense, then the longest night would mark the end and the beginning of days growing longer.  Never the less, the new year marks a time of recommitting ourselves to life and personal growth, and to doing more of the things that make us happy.  Blogging makes me happy, why have I let myself be drawn away from it by the lure of social media and all of life's other distractions?

 I looked back at some of the posts I did on another blog several years ago and they were pretty good.  I think for the past year or more work became so all-consuming and I was so exhausted from it all the time, that my brain was incapable of true reflection, perhaps the inner struggle was just too much to contemplate or share. I put my heart and soul into that job, giving 110%, but the office was closed in late summer and I found myself unemployed.  Attempting to find another job when you are over the age of 60 is no joke, it is defeating and eats away at self-esteem.  We decided that I would take early retirement and see if we could make ends meet with me staying home.

I truly love being at home.  All the stress is gone, other than the obvious worries about making ends meet.  I love the quiet, the waking up each morning to start my day calmly instead of on the run. The furkids love that too.  I definitely don't miss the ever-ringing office phone lines, the pressure of deadlines, or the irresponsible young people who think I am much to focused on doing things the right way, i.e. with integrity.  My husband loves having a meal ready and waiting for him when he gets home each night, the house more organized, laundry caught up, and a wife who isn't on the edge.  I wanted to be done with the daily grind, God knew that, and then it happened, not in a way I would have planned, but so far it's working out.  Only time will tell if we will be able to continue, or if I will need to take on something part-time.  I wish there was something I could do from home.

At any rate, being home frees me up to do more of what I love, which is reading, reflecting, writing, and connecting with others online.  As long as the Internet exists I have plenty of good company at my fingertips... and I don't even have to bother with getting dressed unless I am heading into town on errands!

Although there are many unknowns for this new year, both personally and in our world, I live by the "one day at a time" philosophy and when it comes to things beyond my control I strive to "Let go, and let God."  That isn't always easy, but it certainly is the path to inner peace.

I have hopes this will be a good year.  Perhaps that is overly optimistic, but that's okay with me.  I have learned that most things have a way of working out over time, and everything is possible if we believe.  No matter how much ugliness and division our news media strives to promote, it is still a beautiful world, and there are still good people everywhere.

And so we begin again... always begin again!